Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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