just tell him i said nine months
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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