Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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