Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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