Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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