Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
