yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
