Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
