Im at strip club and am horny
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
