Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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