Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
