I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
God, I missed his penis.
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