The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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