Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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