Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
