Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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