Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
