He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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