the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
