im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
