Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
