i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Randomize
