i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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