Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
this is an emotional support booty call
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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