He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
