so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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