Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
