Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
