You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
