When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
