Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
