I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
