I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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