South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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