Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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