Whoa Z and x make the same sound
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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