I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
