if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
