my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
