I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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