And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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