Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
