you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
