lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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