I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
operation harelip BJ is a go
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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