Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
