hotel room ftw
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
