Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
