I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
