Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize