Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry perkyprincess hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

Fav 12 1968 5294
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.

Fav 20 7733 1203
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

Fav 4 2384 1061
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer

Fav 2 1132 599
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......

Fav 0 463 633
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.

Fav 2 1242 495
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic

Fav 0 848 441
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.

Fav 0 36 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER

Fav 0 83 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT