when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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