Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize