i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
