If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
