she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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