i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
