no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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