I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
