Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i drank out of a bidet.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
