the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
