My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
