I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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